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The Michelle Chalfant Show Life from the Adult Chair

298 – How to Work with and Tame the Inner Critic with Jenny Jansen

All of us have an inner critic – the part that reminds us of our limits, our failures and tries to “keep us in line.” It’s that voice inside your head that can be critical, judgmental and even mean. Though it’s just one part of who we are, the inner critic is one of those parts that can be especially painful and stressful to deal with.   Not only does the inner critic impact our sense of self-worth, but it also keeps us stuck and small in life (although it thinks it’s keeping...

297 – Overcoming Fear with Scout Sobel

When we think about the lives we want to live – the things we want to do and experience and the big dreams we have – the ego will give us a thousand reasons “why not.”   Some of these reasons might be real traumas or health issues we have to overcome; others are figments of the ego’s imagination…fear and discomfort that scream at us to stay in the safe place.   But one thing is certain: anyone who has created more for themselves has overcome struggles and fears to build the life of...

296 – How Self-Validation Will Change Your Life

In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges.   Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One of the...

295 – Holiday Special: How to Change Negative Programs and Patterns with Adele Spraggon

When you think about wanting to change or transform, what do you typically think of changing? Most of us think of a behavior or action – something we are doing. If we’ve been doing our work for a while, we might think of a thought pattern or belief.    But what if everything we do and think is just the tip of the iceberg? What if our actions, behaviors and beliefs are actually the manifestation of deep unconscious patterns in our brains, and if true transformation happens by transforming these patterns?   In this episode,...

294 – Holiday Special: Childhood Emotional Neglect with Dr. Jonice Webb

Do you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and empty, despite seemingly having everything you need to be happy? Do you crave closer relationships but feel like you can’t connect at the deep level you want?   These feelings can often be subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect, which is when our parents or caregivers didn’t tend to or validate our emotions as children. This sets us up for an adult life where we don’t know how to feel our own emotions — which is essential to experiencing joy, passion and connection!    In this show,...

293 – Overcoming Trauma and Limiting Beliefs with Michael Unbroken

We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back in life. But what if you’ve experienced significant trauma as well? How do you distinguish between a trauma response and limiting or negative thinking? How do you find the power to heal when things have happened that were out of your control?   My guest today, Michael Unbroken, has an intense and powerful story of overcoming unspeakable trauma, growing up with abuse, addiction and homelessness. At one point, he wanted to end his own life. But he made a decision to live, and...

292 – Boundary Help at the Holidays with Sharon Martin

Staying in our Adult Chair and setting boundaries can be especially difficult at the holidays. Pressure to attend events or spend money, uncomfortable conversations, holiday traditions and gatherings of family and friends that might not normally get together can create plenty of scenarios that test our boundaries (not to mention the  “shoulds” and guilt the holidays can bring!).   It doesn’t surprise me one bit when my inbox lights up with questions about boundaries this time of year.   So, I enlisted the help of today’s guest, psychotherapist and boundary expert Sharon Martin, to...

291 – Loneliness at the Holidays with Dr. Dain Heer

The holidays are a time where it feels like everything is a bit magnified: there is so much joy and brightness in the world but also space for sadness, loneliness and grief to be amplified.   It’s a touchy time of year where whatever we’re feeling gets underscored by parties, gatherings and traditions.   But the holidays don’t create these feelings. In fact, according to my guest on the podcast today, WE don’t even create most of these feelings. Rather, we pick them up from our parents and the world around us, and the...

290 – Holiday Special: Using the Polyvagal Theory to Balance Your Nervous System with Deb Dana

You know the feeling when your nervous system kicks into overdrive. Maybe you freeze in place or your heart starts racing, your body pumping with adrenaline. This automatic response often feels like it overtakes us. But what if you could control and balance your nervous system instead of it controlling you?    In today’s show, I’m interviewing the incredible Deb Dana, one of the leading experts on the nervous system and the Polyvagal Theory. The Polyvagal Theory offers us cutting-edge insight into the third nervous system response that Porges calls the social...

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