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The Michelle Chalfant Show Life from the Adult Chair

47: The Many Faces of Depression

For so many, the experience of “depression” is actually the experience of getting “stuck.” When we get stuck and feel like we have no options, we can fall into hopelessness and helplessness. Emotions like these are ones we want to run from and numb out.   When the body experiences an emotion, the mind says STOP! This may kill you! Go get a vice! Numb that out! My clients often tell me that they address their own negative emotions, flatness, or depressed experience, with something that will numb them and mask the...

46: How Do You Teach Your Child to Sit in the Adult Chair?

If you’re a human parent, you’ve probably faced some version of this question. How do you teach your kids how to be emotionally present in the world? How to protect themselves and be assertive, and how to live with grace and compassion all at the same time?   The answer is both incredibly complicated and deceptively simple: you can’t.   And that’s where we pick up on the show today, taking on the assumptions we make and the stories we tell ourselves that lead to frustration and shame in our ability to parent. The...

45: How Do You Set The Tone For Your Day?

So many clients have been coming to me dealing with daily stress. You know the feeling — you might not be able to put your finger on it, but the accumulation of stressors in your life feel like 10,000 pounds on your back.   There is no one grand solution, rather a journey of many steps, and an easy one you can take right now today, is to focus on the way you start your day and set the tone for everything that comes before you. Are you looking at your day...

44: Introvert or Extrovert — Which one are you?

“Sometimes I think my son is a complete shut-in.” “I just need to escape.” “Crowds make me feel like my world is closing in.”   What do you think about when you read those lines? Familiar? Foreign? Frustrating? These lines all come from people trying to understand where they and their loved ones relate to their personality orientation: Extroverts or Introverts.   If you’ve ever taken a behavior indicator like Myers Briggs, you have probably received a score that rates you on the introversion/extroversion scale. Like all things related to personality, we exist on spectrum. And...

43: Living Through Cancer in The Adult Chair

This is another of our very special episodes! Connie is a client and dear friend and has joined me today for a conversation around her experience from the beginning of her diagnosis with aggressive breast cancer, through resolution. We talk about how we use The Adult Chair model to help us navigate trauma not just in recovery, but in the process of experiencing it. As Connie says, “It helped me feel like I wasn’t just thrown to the wolves in this, that I was in balance, and brought me back...

42: Inviting Your Relationship into the Adult Chair with Michelle and Graham Chalfant

Worlds collide! This week on the show, for the very first time in over three years, Pete and I got to meet face-to-face! Even better than that, sitting together in a hotel lobby/swimming pool in Seattle, Pete and I finally recorded the long-awaited conversation with my husband Graham on communication and inviting the relationship into the Adult Chair when we’re triggered.   As it turned out, this was a much broader conversation that we’d intended. Graham is in an interesting position; as someone who has experience with my work at home, and...

41: Breaking Down Barriers in The Adult Chair with “Liz”

Today I’m celebrating my friends! A few weeks back I shared an incredible meal with some of my closest friends and, if you’re a listener of this show you can imagine what came up: The Adult Chair. We got to talking about how we can use the Adult Chair to remove blocks and create new pathways for love and growth.   Later that day, one of the women at brunch called me to tell me about how she was able to use the Adult Chair model in her own life that afternoon!...

40: Finding the Motivation to Change with Dr. Ted Klontz

We all get lost. It’s perfectly natural as human beings to get stuck in the forest, to get scared of the dark, to get lonely, and feel our courage drift away. As our guest today so rightly shares, “we have to get used to the weirdness of being human beings.” That’s when we’re able to find the strength, the motivation, the courage to make a change in our lives and approach the world with strength.   I’m so excited to introduce you all to Dr. Ted Klontz. Ted is a psychologist based...

39: Addiction & Forgiveness in the Home

This week’s show comes courtesy of a listener with some incredibly important questions around addiction, living with family suffering from addictive behaviors, and forgiving an emotionally distant parent. These are HUGE questions, as you can imagine, but unfortunately all too familiar issues for so many of us.   We have a two-part answer on the show. First, my own story, which I hope you can relate to and learn from. Second, I offer some of the tools and the framework you’ll need to move through the chairs, and walk through negative feelings...

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