Grief is a messy, complicated emotion, and very few of us know what to do with it. We don’t want to (or know how to) feel it, and when we’re around others who are grieving, most of us freeze. We feel uncomfortable, so we say nothing or say the wrong thing or stay away, all of which just adds to the pain. That was me in my 20s and 30s. But when I lost my father, I could no longer avoid grief. He taught me how to grieve…and I found that grief, as...
You’re here today, doing the work, living from your Adult Chair, becoming who you want to become. It feels really good. But as we live and grow and transform, it can sometimes bring up negative feelings about our past. Whether we made mistakes, missed opportunities, were hurt by someone or experienced a life-altering loss, every one of us has something about our past we wish we could change. Regret can cut deep – into our very souls – and bring a lot of pain, shame and blame with it. But whenever we live in...
Codependency is one of those issues that can often come across as selfless to those around us...
Grief, anger, sadness, fear…YUCK! I don’t know anyone who likes to feel these emotions. I get emails from you guys all the time asking how to get rid of “negative” emotions like these. But are these emotions really negative? Or do they serve a purpose in our lives? While some emotions might feel more unpleasant than others, I personally don’t believe any emotion is negative. All emotions are part of the human experience and carry information for us. However, they can create negative experiences in life when we get stuck in them. The problem isn’t...
Our society today is facing an epidemic of anxiety. Despite technology that promises to make our lives faster and easier, it seems that we’re more anxious than ever. In 2020, Google searches for “anxiety” reached an all-time high. We have to look beyond the diagnosis of anxiety and seek to find the root cause of why so many people are living with such high stress and dysregulation that are creating anxiety. There is something bigger going on here. And since we’re whole humans, we need to look at the whole picture –...
Do you ever feel like you’re being disloyal to your family for having your own life? Or do you feel like you’re second fiddle to your partner’s parents? If so, you or your partner might come from an enmeshed family: a system of relating to each other that is based on dependency, guilt, obligation and too much closeness (yes, that can be a thing!). In today’s episode, I’m bringing back one of your favorite guests, Dr. Ken Adams, to talk about the important topic of enmeshment – and let me tell you, he...
Rejection is one of the greatest fears we have as humans. Even simple rejections like not making the team or being chosen for a job – things we know aren’t personal – still sting deeply. Why does rejection seem to hit at the core of who we are? Susan Anderson began asking this question when she went through a personal experience of abandonment. The love of her life left her suddenly for another woman, and although she was a practicing psychotherapist with immense knowledge of the human mind, she still found herself in...
In my 25 years of private practice, the #1 issue I worked on with clients was feeling their emotions. Whether someone was anxious, reactive and raging or numb to the world, the question they were all asking was, “What the heck do I do with these emotions?” I’ve been there too. And it breaks my heart, because experiencing emotions is one of the gifts of being human. But the good news is that all of us can reclaim this part of ourselves and learn to feel our emotions. And when we do, it...
You landed the dream gig, got the promotion, submitted your book for publishing, had an amazing first date. So, why do you feel so insecure, unsure and even unworthy? Hello, imposter syndrome! Imposter syndrome, or feeling like a fraud, is something that everyone struggles with from time to time — yep, even those super successful people you look up to. It’s that feeling that you don’t really deserve the recognition or opportunities you’ve earned or you worry you’re not really good enough for them. It often sounds like, “If they only knew…” Imposter syndrome can...
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It’s the perfect place to start, especially if you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or just a little off. This chapter offers a gentle peek into what healing can look like when you begin showing up for yourself with compassion and curiosity.
