251 – How Feeling Your Emotions Can Change Your Relationship with Graham Chalfant

Everyone wants connection — we’re hardwired for it as humans! But we can only connect as deeply with others as we’ve connected with ourselves. Strong relationships start by going within, feeling our emotions and being willing to open up and share with our partners. 

On this week’s podcast, I have a very, very special guest…my husband! We’re talking with you today together and sharing some very personal details about our marriage and how feeling emotions has changed our relationship for the better. 

Graham comes from a background where emotions weren’t expressed, and I come from an Italian family that was very expressive. For so many years, we both saw the other as not emotional enough or too emotional. Learning to feel, honor and share our emotions has deepened our connection so much and been so transformational for us. 

In this episode, Graham shares what helped him learn to process his emotions, how that’s changed his response to different situations and the changes we’ve both seen in our relationship.

Listen to discover:
 

• How relationships can help us overcome childhood issues when we approach them with consciousness
• The importance of raw, open communication in a relationship
• Somatic processing and the power of feeling emotions in the body
• Navigating anger and stress in a relationship 
• How feeling emotions deepens intimacy (both emotional and physical)

By the way, Graham did all of this work on his own (no bonus points for having a spouse who is a therapist and coach!). Which means YOU can do this too! We’re all born with the ability to feel our emotions, but we have to tune in with intention instead of running away from them. When we do, we’ll find they stop coming out sideways and are instead an invitation into deeper connection with others.

“When we engage in a relationship with another human being, our childhood issues are going to rear up. That person is here to help us work through those childhood issues.” – Michelle Chalfant

“Once our youngest child left the house, then it all slowed down and it became more apparent to me that I needed to figure out this ‘feeling’ thing.” – Graham Chalfant

“I learned I could just sit with it and in 30 seconds, that heaviness would literally melt away.” – Graham Chalfant

“Everybody has the ability to feel emotions. At some point along our life journey, we turn them off and turn them down.” – Michelle Chalfant

“When you feel an emotion without building a story around it, the emotion goes through you in 90 seconds.” – Michelle Chalfant