207 – The Narcissism and Codependency Connection with Ross Rosenberg

Today, we’re talking about two of our listeners’ favorite topics — narcissism and codependency. I’ve discussed these topics individually on the show before, but in reality, they are deeply connected with each other. And I’m honored to welcome back to the show Ross Rosenberg, a psychotherapist and leading expert on codependency, narcissism, trauma and addiction, on the show to help us understand the connection between these two traits and how to break the cycle.

Ross explains the “dance” of codependency and narcissism, exploring how codependency often forms from narcissistic abuse in childhood and why codependents and narcissists are like magnets for each other. We tend to be attracted to what feels familiar to us, which is why codependents often experience intense chemistry with a narcissistic partner — until the “soulmate” becomes the “cellmate.” It’s not until we learn to fill our own self-love deficit that we can break the cycle of abuse and start forming relationships with partners who love and respect our whole selves.

Listen to discover:

• Why narcissism and codependency go hand in hand
• Attachment wounds and the origins of codependency 
• Why codependency is really a self-love deficit 
• The different types of narcissism
• Gaslighting and the distortion of our reality (the greatest tool of the narcissist)
• Setting boundaries with a narcissist (and why it often doesn’t work)
• Narcissists and codependents in quarantine: the three most important tools we have to make it through

This was SUCH a great episode that will help you understand the “why” behind narcissism and codependency while also giving you practical tips for taking care of yourself in a relationship with a narcissist and rebuilding the self once the relationship ends.

“The child intuitively knows that the world’s not safe, and they somehow have to adapt to it or mold themselves to it so they are the type of child that engenders being cared for.” – Ross Rosenberg

“How you mold yourself [as a child] ends up being how you’re going to be as an adult in relationships.” – Ross Rosenberg