We all want healthier, stronger relationships. As beings wired for connection, relationships can bring us the greatest joy and fulfillment in life…or, when they’re full of chaos, drama, miscommunication and misunderstandings, they can bring lots of pain and confusion.
When we’re experiencing relationship drama, our first reaction is to blame our partner or assume we’re with the wrong person. But the truth is that we get to define our relationships by how we show up in them…we’re creating either an Adolescent relationship (think blame, drama and ego) or an Adult relationship (centered on truth, clarity and empathy). We have the power to transform our relationships just by changing the Chair we’re sitting in!
In this episode, I’m bringing back my friend, Tracy, who has shared her journey through her divorce and reentering the dating scene. Now, she’s in a relationship and she is sharing how The Adult Chair® has helped her change that relationship for the better.
She opens up about how both she and her boyfriend brought their individual fears and doubts to the table and how a series of stories and assumptions actually led them to break up for several months. But when she realized this relationship was too important to her to lose, she decided to drop assumptions and blame and instead get vulnerable and speak her truth (be in her Adult Chair!). When she did this, it completely transformed the dynamics of her relationship, and it’s now stronger than ever!
Listen to discover:
- How to use The Adult Chair model in relationships
- The moment that turned Tracy’s relationship completely around
- How rationalization and blame ruin relationships
- How to get out of the weeds in relationship communication
- The power of vulnerability
Tracy did such an amazing job in the conversation she had with her boyfriend, and I’m so proud of how she models The Adult Chair for him and for everyone listening to the show. It is incredibly uncomfortable to get vulnerable. It’s even more uncomfortable to let go of our ego, own our role in the relationship, stop trying to prove we’re right and instead look for solutions. But when we do this, we invite our partner into a different kind of relationship — one centered on common goals, a higher perspective and a model that works!
“There has to be, when we’re in our Adult Chair, taking responsibility, owning your reality, being honest and talking about the elephant in the room.” – Michelle Chalfant
“I practiced speaking fact and truth and being totally vulnerable.” – Tracy
“If you’re having an argument, it gets you nowhere. You have to go with a higher perspective.” – Michelle Chalfant
“I’m blown away by how the work you have done, this Adult Chair model, how it truly works.” – Tracy
“It’s no one’s job but our own to share with others what we’re experiencing.” – Michelle Chalfant
“[The Adult Chair] gives us tools for how to show up in life.” – Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES:
Episode #179: I’m in a Relationship with a Narcissist
Episode #199: Dating from The Adult Chair®
The Adult Chair® Workshop – Charleston
P&G Hair Food
Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
The Adult Chair® Workshop
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification