249 – The Power of Self-Compassion with Dr. Kristin Neff

Compassion is something we have when we live in our healthiest Adult self, but how easy is it for you to turn around and offer that compassion to yourself? Most of us speak very differently to ourselves than we would to a friend, especially when we make a mistake or are going through a hard time.

But self-compassion is an essential part of healing! In fact, studies show that truly effective therapy is improved by increasing our self-compassion so we can live with more love and less anxiety and stress. 

My guest today, Dr. Kristin Neff, is one of the world’s leading self-compassion experts and one of the first to conduct scientific research on the benefits of self-compassion and how it can change your life. I LOVED our conversation, which covers everything from what self-compassion is and how to cultivate it to the inner critic, anger, gender roles and the way society often makes it difficult to cultivate self-compassion. 

Listen to discover: 

• What self compassion really is 
• The three core components of self-compassion
• Emotional and behavioral self-compassion practices
• Why self-compassion is not selfish
• When anger is constructive and loving
• Why self-compassion is essential for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress

Self-compassion is not selfish. In fact, studies show that when we show ourselves compassion, it actually increases our compassion for others! Life is messy and none of us is perfect, which is why approaching the journey — both ours and others’ — with gentleness and kindness is so important to being healthy! 

“The biggest problem with self-esteem is it’s contingent on success.” – Dr. Kristin Neff

“The word ‘compassion’ by definition is a connected stance.” – Dr. Kristin Neff

“I know from practicing The Adult Chair, where we’re mindful, we practice self-compassion, we’re living in the moment, we’re tuning into the moment…it gets easier.” – Michelle Chalfant

“What reminds you to practice self-compassion is your suffering.” – Dr. Kristin Neff

“I really changed myself through self-compassion.” – Michelle Chalfant