Michelle Chalfant | The Adult Chair | 196 – Spotting Covert Narcissism
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196 – Spotting Covert Narcissism

We all know the word “narcissism.” We can usually spot a narcissist a mile away. They are loud, want all the attention and can be obnoxious. This is known as overt narcissism.


But can you spot a covert narcissist? They can be tricky, with a more “subtle” form of narcissism. It can sting just as badly, but you have no idea it’s happening (at least not initially) because it’s so subtle. 


A covert narcissist still craves attention, but they are sneaky or subtle with how they get it. They look amazing on the outside, but behind closed doors, everything becomes your fault. You are made to feel crazy. They will blame and shame you to get their way. They look like they are socially connected, but in reality, they are inept at building deep relationships and letting anyone in emotionally. In the end, you wonder if you are the bad person in the relationship. It’s no wonder that relationships with this type of narcissist can be so confusing and damaging! 


In today’s episode, I help you break down the disguises that covert narcissists wear. You’ll learn:


  • How narcissism develops
  • Signs that you might be in a relationship with a narcissist
  • Sneaky traits of a covert narcissist (and how to spot them!)
  • What to do if you are in a relationship with someone who has these traits


Narcissism can wreak havoc in our lives sometimes before we even realize it. That’s why it’s so important to know what to look for, spot covert narcissism and take care of yourself if you suspect you have a narcissist in your life.


“They want the world to be according to them. It’s their map of the world. The way they see the world is the only way. And if you don’t agree with the way they see the world, blaming and shaming happens.”


“If it feels bad, it’s not love.”




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