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The Michelle Chalfant Show Life from the Adult Chair

292 – Boundary Help at the Holidays with Sharon Martin

Staying in our Adult Chair and setting boundaries can be especially difficult at the holidays. Pressure to attend events or spend money, uncomfortable conversations, holiday traditions and gatherings of family and friends that might not normally get together can create plenty of scenarios that test our boundaries (not to mention the  “shoulds” and guilt the holidays can bring!).   It doesn’t surprise me one bit when my inbox lights up with questions about boundaries this time of year.   So, I enlisted the help of today’s guest, psychotherapist and boundary expert Sharon Martin, to...

291 – Loneliness at the Holidays with Dr. Dain Heer

The holidays are a time where it feels like everything is a bit magnified: there is so much joy and brightness in the world but also space for sadness, loneliness and grief to be amplified.   It’s a touchy time of year where whatever we’re feeling gets underscored by parties, gatherings and traditions.   But the holidays don’t create these feelings. In fact, according to my guest on the podcast today, WE don’t even create most of these feelings. Rather, we pick them up from our parents and the world around us, and the...

290 – Holiday Special: Using the Polyvagal Theory to Balance Your Nervous System with Deb Dana

You know the feeling when your nervous system kicks into overdrive. Maybe you freeze in place or your heart starts racing, your body pumping with adrenaline. This automatic response often feels like it overtakes us. But what if you could control and balance your nervous system instead of it controlling you?    In today’s show, I’m interviewing the incredible Deb Dana, one of the leading experts on the nervous system and the Polyvagal Theory. The Polyvagal Theory offers us cutting-edge insight into the third nervous system response that Porges calls the social...

289 – Conscious Parenting, Kid Triggers and More with Dayna Ciarfalia

They always say parenting is the hardest job in the world. And while caring for little beings and chauffeuring them all around town can certainly be busy and overwhelming at times, the day-to-day tasks of parenting were not what I found most challenging.   Instead, it was what my kids revealed about me that was so hard! The way they knew exactly how to push my buttons and trigger me, the fears and anxieties that came out when they were born and the hopes and dreams I projected on them were the...

288 – The Gift of Triggers

    No one likes the feeling of getting triggered. But I fully believe that triggers are a GIFT (yes, I said it!).   Getting triggered is different from the pure emotion of anger or hurt at a situation. I’m talking about those quick, intense negative emotions that seem to rise up out of nowhere and might seem bigger than the situation you’re in.    While triggers often feel like they’re about someone else – the person who hurt us or made us mad – triggers are always about us.    Underneath these triggers is a painful belief,...

286 – Feeling Alone on Our Healing Path with Karen Campion

  Starting a journey of healing or following a spiritual path in life can be one of the best things to ever happen to us. It totally transforms how we feel each day and gives us a sense of clarity and purpose in life.   Unfortunately, it can also change our relationships – and not always in the way we want.   I get messages all the time from listeners who have started working with The Adult Chair® or going to therapy who now feel disconnected from people they were once close to.   Sometimes it’s friends...

284 – Enmeshment, Codependency and Boundaries with Dr. Ken Adams

      Do you ever feel like you’re being disloyal to your family for having your own life? Or do you feel like you’re second fiddle to your partner’s parents?   If so, you or your partner might come from an enmeshed family: a system of relating to each other that is based on dependency, guilt, obligation and too much closeness (yes, that can be a thing!).    In today’s episode, I’m bringing back one of your favorite guests, Dr. Ken Adams, to talk about the important topic of enmeshment – and let me tell you, he...

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