You see their name pop up on your phone, and you immediately notice yourself feeling stressed. It’s that friend who always seems to be in crisis, who always calls to gossip or vent.
We all know that person…many of us ARE that person.
It’s called drama addiction, and there’s a part in all of us that is drawn towards chaos and stress.
Sometimes this shows up in big, dramatic ways, and other times, it’s subtler, like our need to always be busy, doom scroll through the news or argue with someone on social media.
My brilliant guest today, Dr. Scott Lyons, is a trauma expert who has studied what is really going on in the brain and body when we’re addicted to drama. He breaks down what trauma does in our body, why addiction forms in response and what exactly is happening in our nervous system when we seek out stress, busyness and drama.
Dr. Lyons also helps us navigate situations where others are pulling us into their drama (including news and social media), explaining why we do this, how it affects our nervous systems and the boundaries we can put in place to protect ourselves.
This episode is full of major “aha” moments that will help you better understand trauma and how stress affects you, whether you are addicted to drama or know someone who is.
Listen to discover:
- What exactly “drama” is
- The connection between addiction and trauma
- Why drama addiction forms and its relationship with the nervous system
- How social media and 24-hour news has changed our brains and made us more prone to drama addiction
- How drama addiction affects those around us — and how others’ drama affects our nervous system
- Steps you can take today to minimize addiction to drama
We all unconsciously do the things that make us feel safe, accepted, loved and alive. If we grew up in a chaotic or dysregulating environment, drama feels safe to us, and that’s why we seek it out.
Understanding your nervous system and how your experiences have shaped it is so empowering and will greatly increase your compassion for yourself and others. This show is a must listen!
“We all know someone addicted to drama.” – Dr. Scott Lyons
“The first part of a stress response is a release of endorphins, is a release of pain relief…So, we become attached, dependent on wanting hits of things that give us essentially that constant stream of pain relief.” – Dr. Scott Lyons
“In our nervous systems, our exaggerated responses are justified if we’re addicted to drama.” – Dr. Scott Lyons
“Self-regulation is the ability to know how much energy, attention and emotion to utilize in our system to properly adapt to a stimulus.” – Dr. Scott Lyons
“An addiction to drama looks different on the outside than what it feels like on the inside.” – Dr. Scott Lyons
“I’ve noticed with people in my life that are chronically busy, when there’s a space of downtime, boom, it’s filled right away.” – Michelle Chalfant
“That tornado of chaos that we all know so well, that we’ve either created ourselves or been pulled into, that is a sad cry for a sense of connection.” – Dr. Scott Lyons
“I would think as soon as the internet was created that [drama addiction] became a bigger addiction for most people.” – Michelle Chalfant
“The ways in which media, and social media specifically, operate have replicated the conditions of an addiction to drama, but on an endemic scale.” – Dr. Scott Lyons
“We live in a stress economy.” – Dr. Scott Lyons
“Negative information — fear, anger, sadness — will be more capturing of our attention than positive news…We are more likely in watching the news to believe bad things will happen to us.” – Dr. Scott Lyons
“The most contagious state is a stress state.” – Dr. Scott Lyons
“We want the drama.” – Michelle Chalfant
“I did so much nervous system work with myself for so many years, and I’m finally in this place of much more balance…now I protect myself from drama.” – Michelle Chalfant
“That is the curative to an addiction, and it is belonging. And when we belong to ourselves, we can start to lower the drawbridge and feel intimacy, the safety for intimacy and belonging to other people.” – Dr. Scott Lyons
LINKS & RESOURCES
Dr. Scott Lyons Website
Dr. Scott Lyons Instagram
“The Gently Used Human” (Dr. Scott Lyons Podcast)
“Addicted to Drama” (Dr. Scott Lyons Book)
The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair Events
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/