As humans, we all have needs. From the time we’re babies, when we literally need someone to feed us and take care of us, to adults who need connection, safety and belonging, our wants and needs are part of our inner world and part of ourselves.
But somewhere along the way we start to feel ashamed of these needs, believing we’re “too much” or “weak” or too “needy.” But I believe being able to acknowledge and ask for what we need is actually a superpower!
My guest today, Mara Glatzel, is a coach who helps people stop self-abandoning and start taking ownership of their needs. She digs into the many different dynamics of what it means to be a human who has needs and how we can better take care of ourselves as we navigate this world.
We talk about the most common human needs, why we tend to judge and suppress our own needs and how it’s when we suppress them that our needs come out sideways (as anger, resentment, unrealistic expectations or disconnecting from self).
Mara shares how to build a practice of connecting with self to check in with your needs on a regular basis, how to reclaim your sense of self if you’ve lost it and how to start validating and taking care of your needs…the true definition of self-care.
Listen to discover:
- Why having needs isn’t weakness
- The two most common reasons people struggle with their needs
- Some of the most common human needs
- The difference between having needs and being “needy”
- What real self-care looks like
- When and how to check in with self to learn what you need
- What “self-partnership” is and how you can take responsibility for your needs
The Child Chair (or inner child) is where we are connected to our true needs – physical, emotional and spiritual.
As healthy adults, we know how to advocate for our needs by using the power of choice and boundaries to protect ourselves, as well as asking for what we need while honoring others’ boundaries.
I hope this episode helps you start owning your needs as a strength, so instead of shaming ourselves for having needs, we can become people who support ourselves and others in healthy ways.
“The reality is that our needs are a fact and not a flaw.” – Mara Glatzel
“A need is whatever it is that you require in order to exist and survive.” – Mara Glatzel
“I think we need training to tap into ourselves so we can identify what our needs are.” – Michelle Chalfant
“So many of us are working so hard to belong to the world around us at the cost of belonging to ourselves.” – Mara Glatzel
“Taking responsibility for your own needs is an essential part of self-leadership.” – Mara Glatzel
“The self-care that we often see and that we’re often sold is prescriptive in nature…I have a lot of clients who come to me burnt out on self-care.” – Mara Glatzel
“When you take a moment and slow down and really tune in and ask yourself, ‘What do I need?’…it changes things.” – Michelle Chalfant
“It’s a beautiful form of self-care to just check in with self.” – Michelle Chalfant
“If we don’t check in, then we might be living our lives on autopilot in so many ways.” – Mara Glatzel
“I think anything other than a full-throated acceptance of your needs is self-abandonment.” – Mara Glatzel
“To learn how to be our best advocate and ask for what we need is powerful.” – Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Mara Glatzel Website
“Needy” (Mara Glatzel Book)
Mara Glatzel Instagram
Free Inner Child Resource
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair Events
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/