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Michelle Chalfant | The Adult Chair | The Adult Chair
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Welcome to Your Inner Child!

 

I’m thrilled that you’re here and that you’ve chosen to explore your relationship with your inner child. You’re about to discover a whole new experience — one in which you allow yourself to move through the world in a state of loving yourself.

 

If you’re new to this work, don’t worry. This resource is designed to take you step-by-step through this process and will be something you can turn to again and again. Your inner child is one of the most fun, creative and deep parts of yourself, and this journey will be incredibly exciting and enlightening!

 

Because most of us don’t know our inner child very well, I approach this process in two steps: first, making a connection with your inner child, and then building and growing that relationship.

 

Step 1: Connecting with Your Inner Child


Chances are you’ve been ignoring your inner child for a long time. Think of this like starting a brand new relationship. You first have to meet this part of yourself, then get to know them.

These three tools and exercises will help you begin connecting with little you:

Journal Prompts: I’ve put together seven journal prompts that will spark your imagination, help you think about and experience your inner child in a new way and inspire you to begin a practice of journaling. There's no right or wrong way to do these! Take your time or go through them all at once — whatever makes you feel the most connected and alive.

Visualization: A picture is worth a thousand words — especially when it comes to finding deep parts of yourself! Picturing and dialoguing with your younger self is a powerful exercise for self-discovery. Connect and get an image of your inner child and ask them how they are feeling. Let them tell you and validate whatever the feeling is. If they are angry, don’t try to talk them out of being angry; just listen. That part of you wants to be heard. There is nothing to fix.

Guided Meditations: Over the next three to four days, block out time to practice each of the following two meditations at least once. In them, I guide you through accessing and connecting to your inner child and building the kind of relationship that will open the doors to clearing codependency, negative programming and lack of self-love.

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Step 2: Build Your Connection With Your Inner Child

Like any relationship, you need to spend time with your inner child if you want to stay connected to this part of yourself. This part of you wants — and needs — a connection! Checking in and continuing to cement this new and blossoming relationship is key.

Check in daily or weekly. You might find it’s helpful to go through the tools in Step 1 again, or you can start a conversation when it feels right for you. Personally, I like to connect and check in on my way to work or before going to bed. Find a time that works best for you and create a routine around it. Many people set their phone alarms or put a daily, weekly or three-times-a-week check-in on their calendars for reminders.
Integrate your inner child into daily life. What would your inner child be doing right now if he or she was with you? Bringing your inner child into your day-to-day can make checking in feel more tangible. For example, I used to visualize myself saying goodbye to little Michelle daily when I’d drop my younger son off to school. Do what feels right for you.
Keep a journal. Writing to your inner child is an amazing way to stay connected, whether you go back through the journal prompts or write freely. You can ask how they are and pause, close your eyes and let them respond with your journal. You can switch hands and use your non-dominant hand as your child and your dominant hand as your adult. Let your journal host a conversation between the two of you.

Let your imagination go when connecting to your inner child. Get creative with this!

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I am so happy that you decided to bond with this beautiful part of you. The inner child is the container and keeper for your emotions, needs, fun, creativity, passion, vulnerability, intimacy and so much more. These beautiful aspects of you will begin to emerge in your life when doing this work — not all at once but at the perfect, divine time.

 

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When we begin new work, sometimes things we don’t expect come up. Here are two very common questions and experiences I see when doing inner child work:

What do you do if your inner child hates you, is angry or doesn’t want to see or talk to you?

This happens! Be patient! Think of it like this: imagine if your parent comes home with a new wife or husband and says, “Meet your new stepparent. You must love and bond with them!”

Some people may feel a bit put off with this new “adult” showing up. A new loving parent would know this and be patient and keep showing up and listening. Listening is a powerful step with the inner child. No matter what emotions are coming up for them, let them have them. Even if it’s anger — this is key! Let them express it and be there for them. When my inner child is angry, I sit and let her vent. I then tell her I love her. My inner child was abandoned for a very long time. She has every right to be angry, sad or otherwise emotional!

Some people have experiences in which their inner child won’t come out of hiding and they can’t see them after doing the first meditation. Again, be patient. Practice the meditation a few more times. Your inner child wants to see that you are serious about showing up and loving them. Show them they are worth the wait. When the guided meditation is over, imagine yourself going and sitting in your special place and just waiting there for your inner child to come to you.

Listening and patience is the key to bonding with the inner child. Show them you are in your new, healthy adult, one that is patient, kind, loving and compassionate. Show up for them like the parent you wanted but didn’t get growing up. Be that for them and watch the healing begin.

How will my life change from building a relationship with my inner child?

Your life will change after connecting with your inner child. But I can’t say how. It will be a unique experience for you, just as it’s unique for everyone. This is a spiritual concept, meaning we are working with the mind and the imagination and working with parts from our past. There is no way of knowing how the present will change, but it will! Think of dominos that were set up a long time ago being pushed over. Now that you’ve tweaked the past, when they fall, they will fall differently. You will feel different about who you are. The good news is that your life will change for the better. You are healing aspects of yourself that have needed healing for a very long time.

You are giving yourself a beautiful gift by connecting in this way. This powerful process yields great healing inside. Much love to you on your sacred journey with your child.

xo, Michelle

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