26: Boundaries vs Confrontation

“If I don’t learn to take care of myself, who will?”   Boundaries and confrontations are two very different things. One teaches others how we want to be treated and the other is getting in someone’s face to elicit change. Which one sounds better to you?   In this podcast, we discuss the difference between the two and what, how, and why it’s important to learn how to set effective boundaries. Unfortunately, most of us weren’t taught how to set boundaries so when we are faced with upsets or hurt...

306 – Empath vs. Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

Does it ever feel like other people in your life just have more capacity than you? They float through busy social calendars, difficult family situations, work stress and world events while you feel overwhelmed, bogged down and exhausted. You wonder what’s wrong with you and if they’re right: you really are too sensitive.    If that sounds like you, there is NOTHING wrong with you; you just might be an empath or highly sensitive person (HSP) – someone who takes in more emotions, energy and input from the world around you....

300 – How to Be a Boundary Boss with Terri Cole

Are you convinced you’re just bad at boundaries? Do you worry this is a trait that you were born without and you’re just destined to feel taken advantage of and resentful for the rest of your life?   The truth is that no one is born good at boundaries! They’re not something you have or don’t have; they’re a skill you develop. That’s right – you CAN become a boundary boss!   My guest today, Terri Cole, is a boundary boss herself and a licensed psychotherapist who helps people from...

296 – How Self-Validation Will Change Your Life

In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges.   Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One...

292 – Boundary Help at the Holidays with Sharon Martin

Staying in our Adult Chair and setting boundaries can be especially difficult at the holidays. Pressure to attend events or spend money, uncomfortable conversations, holiday traditions and gatherings of family and friends that might not normally get together can create plenty of scenarios that test our boundaries (not to mention the  “shoulds” and guilt the holidays can bring!).   It doesn’t surprise me one bit when my inbox lights up with questions about boundaries this time of year.   So, I enlisted the help of today’s guest, psychotherapist and boundary...

276 – Raising Teens from The Adult Chair® with Dr. Pam Staples

    I think it’s universally agreed upon: raising teenagers is hard!    A natural part of growing up is becoming an individual, which comes with challenging limits, venturing away from the family structure and challenging parents in the process!    Not only do our teens challenge us by pushing back on our boundaries, but the process of letting go of our kids also challenges our egos and attachments and pushes us to do our own work. I get so many questions about parenting teenagers in a healthy way, and...

271 – Summer Series: Find Your Adult and Change Your Relationships

Wow — I was blown away by the response to last week’s episode with my one and only, Graham Chalfant. It seems like so many could relate to our relationship dynamics and the learning and work we’ve done over the years…and so many of you also asked how we started doing the work and making changes in our relationship.    In this week’s episode, I’m focusing the conversation back on the self and how we can each choose to show up differently in our relationships from our Adult Chair. We...

261 – How to Receive a Boundary from Your Adult Chair

We talk a lot about how to set boundaries in The Adult Chair®, but sometimes we forget that we are human and sometimes we cross others’ boundaries. The other side of mastering boundaries is learning how to humbly and gracefully receive a boundary when the tables are turned and we’re the ones being asked to shift our behavior or approach.   It’s very easy to perceive boundaries as criticism and go on the defensive, but receiving a boundary is an opportunity to understand someone better and deepen our relationships. When...

252 – Find Your Adult and Change Your Relationships

Wow — I was blown away by the response to last week’s episode (#251) with my one and only, Graham Chalfant. It seems like so many could relate to our relationship dynamics and the learning and work we’ve done over the years…and so many of you also asked how we started doing the work and making changes in our relationship.    In this week’s episode, I’m focusing the conversation back on the self and how we can each choose to show up differently in our relationships from our Adult Chair....